I finally gave in.

I has a twitter. Admittedly, I initially got it because Las Iguanas has a weekly prize draw (A £20 voucher is not to be sniffed at), but I'll get used to it.

I think...


Oh yeah, I know I said I would stop the jokes, but I thought of one today and I might as well spread the comedy... or lack of it.

Does misery love company?
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No. Misery is not mature enough to tell the difference between an adolescent crush and love.

Bazinga.

I have a hot water bottle to my left and a flask of tea to my right. These are probably my best weapons to combat the snow outside.

Brrr... I feel cold just looking at it.

That being said, YAY SNOW! Probably will wait to see how much we get before I go off and instigate a snowball fight, especially since I went AOT about three times in the last one (maybe more, I was having too much fun to keep track).

In other news, I applied for "Mock the Week" audience tickets. Whether I get them or not is a different story but if I do, it'll make a nice birthday present.

Oh yeah, I'm also dropping the joke of the day. The general consensus was that there are just not enough ketchup packets in the world. I'm inclined to agree.

... at least I admit it.

;P

India Foxtrot Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Alpha November Uniform November Delta Echo Romeo Sierra Tango Alpha November Delta Tango Hotel India Sierra, Charlie Oscar Papa Yankee Alpha November Delta Papa Alpha Sierra Tango Echo India Tango Tango Oscar Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Lima India Victor Echo Juliet Oscar Uniform Romeo November Alpha Lima!

Joke of the day

What do get if you have a cat asking you for a cheeseburger?
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One of three things

A) An unconvincing infiltration into the lolcats hierarchy ( It should be "has cheezburger").
B) Lay off the pot man.
C) You delicate psyche has become horribly unglued. (take this opportunity to repair it with superglue. If you have none, UHU or Pritt-Stick with hot resin works just as well. It won't fix it but it will make it all shiny and new. :D)

What is the most common reason for cowardice in snowmen?
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Snow balls!

What goes bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang?

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A Time lord committing suicide.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy wuzz wasn't fuzzy was he?
... so he changed his name to fred bear.

Bazinga!

1). Don't submit your coursework 30 minutes before the deadline. It is possible (I'm living proof), but it isn't something that I'd recommend.

2.) According to niblick III's younger sister, my name is now Eareth (Thank you hereditary scruffy doctor's handwriting).

3.) Don't sleep in the subway ;P

Jokes of the day - I missed a day so I'll add an extra one

Joke 1

A cop is monitoring traffic on highway 22. During his shift, he notices a car going at an unusually slow speed. Since this could cause just as much trouble as someone speeding, the cop gets the driver to pull over. In the car, there is a couple in the back who look like they're in shock and an old woman at the wheel.

"D'ya know what speed you were driving at ma'am?" the cop asked.
"I was keeping to the speed limit officer," the lady replied. "22 miles an hour."

The cop then explains to the woman that the number on the sign is the number of the highway, not the speed limit. After the misunderstanding, he looks at the couple in the back seat again and asks the driver what is wrong with them.

The driver replies "I just came off highway 135."

Joke 2

What is the difference between art and porn?
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A government grant.

Joke of the day.

What sound does an atom make when it falls over?
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"PLANCK!"

Joke of the day.

Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
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Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.


Admittedly, this is not a joke but it is still pretty funny... despite the fact that nobody knows what it means.

Joke of the day

Why is there no hydrogen in Ireland?

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Because it isn't found in a free state

;P

Joke of the day

A lion in a pub goes up to the bar and orders a round of drinks. When asked what he wants, the lion says "I'll have a pint of lager, two JD and cokes, one vodka and lemonade and..." the lion then thinks for a bit and remembers the last bit of the order, "... and a black russian." The woman serving him replies "no problem, but why the large paws?"

Hee

Something I thought about starting for people who need a giggle (or the excuse to throw virtual ketchup satchets at me). That and it motivates me to write more often.

Joke of the day.

If smoking increases the risk of cancer, what causes Capricorn?

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Poorly fitting shoes in Southern Italy!

;D

I am currently in a stats workshop, being told in a very patronising way how most of the class failed an assessment. At the moment, I have better things to do then sit around for three hours doing nothing. I can do that for free at home. Also. theres a 50% chance that I might have to do a presentation tomorrow... with less than a day's notification.

Logic... there is none.

Disraeli once said that there are three types of lies:-

1. Lies
2. Damned lies
3. Statistics

At the moment, I'm inclined to agree. It's like adding two and two together and coming up with apple.

I need a hug... and pie. Good thing I went mad with making pies so now I can has pie.

PIE!!!!!!!

Still haven't got the mice yet. This time though, I'm checking my slipper BEFORE I put it on.

Like I said in my last post (which should have been posted a few days ago, but LJ went cuckoo and I can't be bothered to backdate it), anyone who has ninja kittehs I could use, I would be indebted.

Back to Mousehunting.

Is it odd when the highlight of your day is making a mouse detector out of a window lock frame mechanism, an umbrella and a hollowed out tennis ball? Probably not but then again, I am slowly going mad so this is soon going to be normal routine.

...C'mon, it was 10 at night and I didn't have a mouse trap. I had to improvise. Admittedly, it's a glorified Rube Goldberg machine with limited usage outside of mouse detecting but I could apply for a patent. Maybe JML will buy it...

Anyway, my to-do list.

Get ready for field trip to the Brecon Beacons (watch out for cannibals).
Make mince pies (In accordance with lloyd family tradition - to make enough to last til next April)
Conquer my hatred of ice skating for winter wonderland (Only been twice and both times resulted in a trip to A&E)
Sort out megabus ticket for collectomania (and my eigth doctor costume).
Start xmas shopping
Get more whiskey tea (on pain of death)
Send in ninja kittehs to get rid of ninja mice (very agile and capable of carving shuriken out of cheese)

Already got rid of one... i found it dead in my slipper, but more hide in the shadows.
As you can see, I'll be pretty busy.
Bye for now.

(Oh and if anyone is able to supply me with ninja kittehs, I would be extremely grateful.)

I have just recently got back from Scotland and I really regret not bringing a canoe with me... or at least a rubber dinghy. All those holidays in the past that I'd bring it and not use it and when I need it, I don't has it. 

Should'nt have been suprised at this. After all rain kinda comes with the territory.

Anyway, despite it's sogginess, Scotland is awesome. I could've done without the 6 hour trip to and from Loch Ness but it's also quite comforting to know that Wales isn't the only place to have an obscure assembly building. The Welsh assembly may look like a giant mushroom, but the Scottish assembly looks like someone's thrown a load of twigs over some sticklebricks (don't get me wrong, I love sticklebricks).  

Ah well, this week I am preparing to take (and probably fail) my driving test for the 5th time. Should I buy myself an anniversary card? Then, I'm heading back to Cardiff at the weekend, then London, then fffyyyydhfsthsdhsfhyuyjkhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhvvvvvvvvvvd....ccdms.d.......

Oh bugger, fell asleep on my keyboard. Luckily I bashed my nose on the return key or this message would have been much longer... I'll think I'll leave it in.

Soooo... recap, Soggy scotland, sticklebricks, driving test anniversary, moving back, random gibberish.  I think that's everything.

I can haz sleep.

Why I am happy today...

Reason the first - There going to be another Saw film so I'm set until 2011.

Reason 2 - The chances of Big Brother being axed indefinately have increased dramatically.

Reason 5... er... 3 - I may has housing for next year.

Reason iv - A certain someone (who I will not name since certain people who don't like spoilers will gouge my heart out with a spork if I blab this to them and they don't know already ) is going to be in the new series of Doctor Who. All I'm saying is that she's incredibly hot. Work it out from there.

Oh yeah, and reason 5 - I has tea.

Everything is right with the world.